guest post from confessions of a wannabe

Here is my first ever guest post on my blog. Makes me feel so established and special. Hey, she may be my best friend and you may say it doesn't count, but I say screw you. I've mentioned her blog before so you should check it out. I read every post of hers and always get a good laugh. Here is Heather's contribution to Nailed it or Failed it. Enjoy!

Confessions of a Wannabe

When Melissa suggested (jokingly, I think) that I do a guest post for her blog, I laughed and thought, "haha we're not real bloggers," but then after thinking about it I thought, "what the hell?! why not pretend like we're pro bloggers?" So here I am, guest posting on her blog. You wanna know what inspired all of this? Take a look at this beauty:

Ah, my roasted chickpeas in all of their glory (er, failure). Yes, yes, this was a legitimate FAIL, and what better place to tell the world about it than on a blog named Nailed It or Failed It?

Here's the story:

I just had a baby (2 months ago) and I've just returned to work (2 weeks ago) and I need to lose like, 30 pounds (20 baby pounds, 10 extra for good measure). I've been making my lunches and snacks for the work week on Sunday night and it's been working out great! I'm trying to be really conscious of what I put in my body during the work day - when I get home to dinner, I have a super picky hubby to satisfy, so needless to say, a plant based diet's not gonna fly at that point. So my only hope is when I am the only one enjoying my food. Anyway, this week I decided to make Buffalo Ranch Roasted Chickpeas for my snack (it's a recipe from Kid Tested Fire Fighter Approved - awesome plant based recipes, btw). It didn't work out too well.

Don't get me wrong - it wasn't the recipe, it was me! Here's what happened:

1. I didn't fully dry out my chickpeas - I'm like, 99.9% sure that this has nothing to do with the end result, but anyway, I only patted them dry. I didn't let them sit out to dry for any period of time. 
2. My version was not fully vegan - The recipe calls for Frank's Red Hot Sauce. Well, I'm poor and bought Kroger brand buffalo sauce: it has eggs and anchovies (ew.) in it. I didn't even realize until I got home. Eh well. 
3. I didn't understand the instructions - What does "patting them down" mean? I know that sounds obvious but I mean, I spread the chickpeas evenly on the pan then I just took my hand and pressed down on them a bit...is that what "patting them down" means? I sure as hell don't know.
4. I used foil instead of parchment paper - Does that even make a difference? Again, I have no freaking idea, but I don't have parchment paper. I have wax paper or foil. I guess I could've used wax paper...but would that have been a mistake too? No clue. 
5. Those things wouldn't shake - The recipe says to "shake pan or stir" throughout the baking process. Well, I tried to shake that damn pan but it was hot, the oven heat was burning my face, and the chickpeas wouldn't budge. I forgot the "stir" option. So I just left them there.
6. I didn't watch the time - So it says to bake for 40-50 minutes. Well, I think mine were in the oven for like, 60 minutes. Plus I couldn't be bothered to really check on them much. So I had that going for me.

You see, any "failure" that happened here was completely my fault - hey, I have a cute baby that was demanding my attention. And who knew chickpeas could burn to a crisp? I didn't. But you know what? It's ok. I'm still eating those little buggers.

They taste like bacon.